121109, today marks the day of your first death anniversary.
亲爱的阿公,
你知道吗? 我好想好想你.
Life is blooooody hell UNFAIR.
Why do people have to die?
Why do people have to undergo this process?
Why do people just went off like this without a word?
I always wonder, a hundred thousand 'whys'.
He passed away peacefully, with no injuries or scars. You know, it's really heart wrecking to witness and face the facts, it has never been easy for me. Everyone knows, he dote me most. He provides me with his best and give me whatever i yearn for. His unconditional love for me, his care and concern showered on me. Every little thing he does, it will all be kept as the sweetest memories, ever.
Death entry in our life is such a shattering and unwelcome event. The feelings of pain and loss are terrible. Yet, death is unavoidable and it's part of the cycle in life. Losing a family member is so much of the pain. Loved ones are left with so many unanswered questions.
I'm the eldest grandson in the family. Therefore i know, no matter what, i've got to stand strong. I must find ways to grieve. For without grief, there can be no comfort. Often, we must force ourselves to reach into our subconscious to uncover our true feelings. Only when we have allowed ourselves to feel all the pain, then we can begin to face our loss, and slowly begin to heal.
Sometimes , i sit down at a corner of the house, or even a place that had left trace of people who have left this world. I could feel that human beings are so feeble, so fragile, so weak. One moment, they can be laughing running and sleeping, doing things they like and enjoy. The next moment, they seem like they are sleeping too, but for long.
In 3 words, i can sum up everything i've learnt about life... It goes on. (No matter what) Everything is predestined. Everyone will leave this place sooner or later. It's only a matter of time.
Beloved Grandpa,
I will definitely miss him dearly and you'll always live clear in my heart. This one year, without your presence, i finally felt the lonesome within. The house was quieten down and laughter was reduced. It's not the same anymore. If God would grant me a wish, i wish for you to be back by my side once again. Will you?
Sigh.. If only, if only.. Someone can bring him alive. If only..
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